50th Birthday

Today you would have turned 50. I wrote the following after we spoke on your birthday 32 years ago. How I miss you!

Phone Call from Kansas

The phone rings – I pick it up

and in an altered tone of voice

you state: “I’m living for myself.”

You – one of the most respected ones

with parents on the mission field

(How they have failed their closest ones

While striving for the “heathen lost”!)

You go on into the silence that follows,

“Now don’t you worry – I’ll be okay.”

But you won’t, for I can sense

that you’re puzzled and heartsore and lost inside,

disillusioned by the western dream

while scrabbling for the streets of gold

“I’ve got a head on my shoulders, you know.”

Yes, but for how much longer? I think,

as you tell of near-crashes, policemen and girls,

the drinks and the drugs, the friends that you’ve made

Your pitch gets higher and faster until

you suddenly stop.

“What do you think? Are you shocked?” you ask

No, not shocked – just helpless, scared

We begin to chat, and as I say

“I’m going to Greece on my honeymoon”

the mood again changes as you respond

“Marry me, you’ll have lots of fun …”

Oh, my friend, for you’ll always be that

no matter what happens in this life

Is fun the most important goal

to aim at while we’re on the earth?

As you go to hang up, you ask,

“Still my friend, Tinhead?” I want to weep

but I manage to stumblingly reply

“Always your friend, Maynard.”

    November 16, 1979