Phantom Child

One of the best days this TH has ever seen was the day you walked through its doors, a nervous wreck looking for a job. I am so grateful to your Oma Belt for sending you my way.

Remember how on your first shift, I gave you a break at the same time as Lois so that you could get to know each other a little bit? You thought you might disturb her, so you went and sat by yourself at Hidden Valley, tucked unobtrusively behind the piano ...

And then when we were trying to get you to loosen up in the kitchen, I asked you to stir the chocolate pie mixture as it came to a boil; and I told you that for our desserts to be good, we talk to them while we were stirring them. (That is true, of course!) "What should I say?" you murmured, aghast.

We marked your 18th birthday with the 2009 TH
Christmas Event and Stuart McLean after dinner!

Where have the years gone? That fairly timid, reserved youth is a shadow in the sunlight of this strong, intelligent, handsome man who turns 21 today. You're confident, articulate, decisive, focused. You're driven but not obsessed.

But what has not changed one iota is your heart. You are a burden bearer, Brent. You carry the weight of the pain of those you hold most dear. You seek - in large ways and small - to alleviate suffering, to give a word of counsel and encouragement wherever you can. You build bridges.

You care for people with a depth and a maturity far beyond your years. I myself have been the beneficiary many times. Here are a couple of illustrations:

A year ago you were out shopping for a birthday present for your Mom when you came across this stunning work in three segments. You thought you knew where it belonged, and so you brought it to the TH.

It is one of the most talked-about pieces in the place.

And then this year I was on an errand and popped out to your Grandpa's place. There you were, sitting with him and Elaine, eating lunch. We talked for a few minutes and I picked up what I needed and then prepared to leave. As I started up my car, you came running out.

"I want to install screens for you," you said. Can I have your keys? You can trust me ..."

"Well, I can afford one, so maybe the back door?" I started to say, when you interrupted. 

"No; I want to pay for these and give them to you."

"Brent, I can't allow you to do that. You're in school; you're like my son; this just isn't right ..."

You interrupted again. "Because I'm like your son, I want to do this. You give a lot to other people; it's time you learn to let someone do something for you. You've wanted these for three years. Please let me do this. Please."

I was overwhelmed. You took my keys, gave me a quick hug and went back inside.

When I got back to the TH after another afternoon of grocery shopping (but this time a truly joyful trip as it was for Karla's wedding!), I was greeted with a Phantom screen installed on the back door and the door near the fireplace at the TH. I have enjoyed those screens during the week when I sit doing my work for Carswell; and customers all through the summer commented on how grateful they were that the TH wasn't as hot as it often has been in previous summers.

The thing is, it's not only in big things but in small ways that you see a need and fill it. You were dropping Karla off for a shift one Saturday morning this summer, and you popped in for coffee. The next thing I knew, you were changing out the garbage for us - "How can I just sit there when I can easily do this for you guys?" was your reasoning.

You've had a prime example of helping others:
here's your Mom bailing us out one afternoon!

One of the greatest honours I have received since coming to Three Hills was when I was invited to your graduation banquet in the place of your beloved Oma, who had gone to heaven before she could see you graduate. I could not have been prouder of you than if you were my own child. That day I said to your Mom, "I never had my own children, but God has blessed me by allowing kids like Brent to be a part of my life."

Coach's Corner at the LOIS Award event

You were the recipient of the inaugural LOIS Award and both Lois and I agree that you truly live up to the values and standards that she set. I am still grateful for the way you in turn set the bar for the next wave of workers, including your own brother.

So what a joy it is to wish you a happy 21st birthday, dear Brent! You are one of those rainbows in my cloud that Maya Angelou referred to. The words that come to mind when I think of you are these:

And he shall be like a tree, planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither, and whatsoever he does shall prosper. (PSALM 1:3)

Lady Of Inspirational Service ... Day 14

I remember the first time I ever saw you - you scared me half to death. I was working one evening in the TH kitchen and suddenly I had an ominous intimation that I was not alone. I spun around on my heel; and there you were, at the east door to the TH, peeking through the glass and waving to try to get my attention, grinning all the while.

"I'm Lois! I'm here! Dorothy said you might be holding a job for me - would you like me to work?"

With that you hugged me and that was pretty much the sum of the job interview.

You worked hard and so faithfully. You "showed up" every single shift you were assigned. Your attitude was cheerful, and you never baulked at anything I asked of you.

And what you did for the staff! You became their mentor, their friend, their big sister. You worked alongside of them and won their confidence, respect and love. They learnt discipline and patience and cooperation because they saw it in you.

You emphasized their intrinsic self-worth; and, what's more, you got them to believe in themselves - no mean feat when dealing with adolescents!

What you did for me goes too deep for mere words, but I'll try. You believed in the TH and its mission. You accepted me - receipts flying around, stuff on the stairs, impossible assignments even after you had moved on to other things (190 Cornish hens, cleaned and stuffed one day and then roasted, plated and served the next? no problem - you made a special trip to come back to Three Hills and help me!), emotional 911s - you loved me and supported me through it all.

More than that, you were the one who could bring my vision of this place into focus for me and then articulate it to others. I will never forget one time I asked you, "Lois, do you want to work in the front with the customers?"

Your reply was, "Karyn, I just want to serve. I don't need to be up there; I can be of greater help to you back here and so I'm just as happy being in the kitchen."

I believe that is one of your great attributes: you have a servant's heart and the invaluable gift of helps. My Dad said just today in the Sunday school class he is teaching that the definition of glorifying God is not putting a halo on Him - God is perfect, so how can you improve on perfection? - but it is accomplished through revealing some aspect of His character that is true. And then Dad went on to say, "For example, look at the Holy Spirit and how many times He is associated with helping people. If we in turn help people, we are manifesting a characteristic of God that is true and by doing so we glorify Him."

This is what you do. Through your actions and your attitude you reveal God to those who have the privilege of knowing you. I think about your stories of midwifery training and practice. Never once did you put yourself forward (I had to get it out of your friends at the coolest pre-wedding henna party ever!) but in all things you sought to turn the attention from yourself to the families you ministered to, the babies you delivered, the people who were with you.

I am so thrilled that you and Greg found each other. From the (too) little I know of him, I see that you share the same heart, the same spirit of humility, the same goals and aspirations: to love God and to serve others.



Because of you and in honour of you, the TH's LOIS Award was created. Our first recipient was Brent, and the second was Tiffany. LOIS sums you up:

• Leading
• Others, with
• Integrity, through
• Service

I am so grateful that "our" three TH boys - Matt, Brent and Curt - have had you to set the bar for what they should be looking for in a life partner.

I treasure your visits when you're back in town, and I thank you for pulling on an apron and jumping back into the fray just because you see I'm short staffed - who does this?! Oh, that's right: you and Brent, who learnt from you what it was to care and serve in practical, unobtrusive ways.

 LoisLewis, thank you for the threads you have woven into the fabric and the character of this place. God bless you and keep you and may you continue to be a blessing wherever you go and in whatever capacity you serve.

Nilgiris' First LOIS Award Evening

On Saturday, August 28, 2010, Nilgiris Tea House held our first LOIS Award Evening.

Lois Hunt started working for the TH when she returned from a stint at Hebron School in the Nilgiris, South India. She stayed with us until she went to college in British Columbia for a couple of years. Then back she came to the TH. Next she went to the Philippines to get her midwifery training. When that was done, here she was again. She left and returned several times; but finally, in 2009, we had to adjust to the idea that the next time she left would be somewhat permanent: after Christmas she was moving to New York because Lois Hunt was about to become Lois Lewis ...

One of Lois's many gifts is that she can inspire young people to reach inside themselves and deliver their best - their best efforts, their best attitude, their best accomplishments. Time and again I have seen her taking a rookie teahouse employee and tuck the newbie under her wing and get her or him going on the right track. She listens, she instructs, she teases, she laughs, she corrects, she entrusts, she encourages.

Most of all, she cared. She cared for the customers, cared for the staff, cared that she is giving her best to whatever job is at hand. And she gently led the staff to follow her example.

I was so happy for Lois when Greg won her hand. But I wanted the lessons that Lois taught the TH staff to be valued and remembered and passed on. She inspired me to create a tribute in honour of this selfless, hard-working, dedicated young woman. I called it the LOIS Award.

LOIS stands for Leading Others with Integrity through Service. Lois has never been a leader who feels the need to be in the spotlight, who must make her voice heard at all costs. She said to me so many times, "I just want to be wherever you need me the most." But I have rarely seen anyone who impacted the lives of people around her like Lois did, and does. The TH staff all loved and respected her. She could reach any of them where they were at any given moment in their lives. She keeps in touch with them still.

I felt that the award should be in the nature of a small scholarship, funded by tips I receive from the Monday morning men's group, by recycling bottles, by the occasional little cheque and bills people have shyly handed me to "help someone" through the TH or to "pay it forward" because someone had done something nice for them, or even to put toward the "LOIS fund."  The criteria for the award would be as follows:

• Grade 12 graduate
• Worked at the TH for at least a year
• Continuing on with their studies or going on a mission trip
• Manifest the characteristics that Lois exemplified: a good attitude, willingness to work hard, and a leader with a quiet, unobtrusive influence among the staff.

This summer we had our first LOIS Award recipient.

Brent Benavides started working at the TH three years ago. He was one of Lois's proteges and under her tutelage grew from a timid lad to a confident young man who could set aside his apprehensions and natural reticence and tackle anything I threw at him. For example, one Sunday the cook called in sick very shortly before we were to open. Brent stepped up and took charge in the kitchen: he plated, garnished and served 31 roast beef dinners, plus quiches with salad, soup, and a steady stream of desserts, all without the slightest glitch. He gave direction to the two younger employees in the kitchen and got them to work well together as a unit.

Brent had just turned 18 years old.

He graduated from high school in June and now Mount Royal University in Calgary beckons. Such an occasion demanded that we close the TH at 5 p.m. on Saturday to celebrate this exceptional young man.

The evening started with "Coach's Corner", where "Coach Arnie Timothy frm Newfoundland" and a substitute recommended by Grapes himself, conducted an interview with Brent, complete with guests on the panel who discussed Brent's prowess in hockey; his leadership at school as President of the Student Council; his dedication to His Singers, a high school choir; and his work at the TH.

Coach, of course talked about Brent's entertainment career, his political career, his sports career, and his culinary career. As Don Cherry does in Coach's Corner on Saturday hockey games, Coach Timothy nearly stole the show ... until he said it was time to cut to commercial break and Brent responded, "There is one more thing before we go to commercial break ..." and handed Coach a silver tray on which rested a pot of Earl Grey tea and a fantastic tea cup and saucer set painted by Brent in Prairie Sabres colours and decorated with a pair of sabres, Brent's number 4, the date and COACH painted on it.

For the first time ever at the TH, Coach was speechless ...

After that presentation was made and Coach poured himself a cup of tea, Dad spoke a few words of challenge to Brent, at my request.

Dad told of the story of Daniel from the Bible, applying it to Brent as the latter got ready to leave his home and move into the larger world of university. Dad pointed out how Daniel purposed in his heart to do what is right, he prayed, and he prospered; and all of that could come about because of Daniel's conviction, his companions, his confidence in God, his consistency, and his continuation of good practices throughout his long life. Brent and his four closest high school companions listened intently as Dad spoke.

                                                                                                                      

Then it was time to eat: I asked Dr. Oswaldo Benavides, Brent's Dad, to offer thanks in Spanish, and everyone eagerly filled their plates from the table laden with an array of tempting delicacies artfully arranged by Krista, who had come back to pitch in for the occasion ... Krista's presence also gave me an opportunity to thank her for the magnificent job she did for us over the past eight months. Truly this young woman is an artist as well as a thinker. She is clear sighted and focussed. She is disciplined and beyond hard-working. She kept me on track for the last few months and I am so grateful to her for her continued presence in my life. But I still want to see her dance ...

 

When everyone looked like they were satisfied, I presented the first LOIS Award to Brent, touching lightly on how he lived out the characteristics; but as I was speaking my heart was heavy, knowing how much I and the TH will miss this very talented, very capable, very committed young man with his keen mind and attention to detail and his humble heart and spirit. He is worth more than six kings and six saints, as one of my charmingly erudite friends would put it.

All the best at Mount Royal, Brent! Come back and visit us often: we'll save "your" apron for you ...